One-liners

Martinr36

MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
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HomerJ

Prolific Poster
I’ve got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. He’s going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.

Edit: Apparently he’s stuck in traffic and he’s going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.
Edit2: He’s making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.
Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days.
 

ubuysa

The BSOD Doctor
In the very early days, where acoustic couplers turned a regular phone into a dial-up modem (at 300 bits per second) nobody could be allowed to touch the desk on which the phone and coupler sat. Sometimes people in the room even had to talk in whispers to avoid introducing audio noise on the line.

9.6k dial-up really was luxury after that!
 
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davhun

Gold Level Poster
In the very early days, where acoustic couplers turned a regular phone into a dial-up modem (at 300 bits per second) nobody could be allowed to touch the desk on which the phone and coupler sat. Sometimes people in the room even had to talk in whispers to avoid introducing audio noise on the line.

9.6k didal-up really was luxury after that!
Mine was a bit slower than that

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TonyCarter

VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Mine was a bit slower than that

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Is that the Discworld 'Clacks' system?

 

TonyCarter

VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
In the very early days, where acoustic couplers turned a regular phone into a dial-up modem (at 300 bits per second) nobody could be allowed to touch the desk on which the phone and coupler sat. Sometimes people in the room even had to talk in whispers to avoid introducing audio noise on the line.

9.6k didal-up really was luxury after that!
Was working in a bank in the very early 1990s, and they were still using a rack of those things to send the daily transaction batch to their processing centre.

On a good day, they'd get their response before opening the following day!

On a bad day, it would think it'd failed and the system would send it again, and again, and again.

They were replacing them with ISDN and Hayes 9600 baud modems as we left.
 

ubuysa

The BSOD Doctor
Mine was a bit slower than that

View attachment 39944
On my Yachtmaster Ocean training courses many decades ago we were encouraged to keep a copy of this on the boat. Sometimes that's the only way you can communicate between ships at sea over a distance.

BTW. Never stand on any ship and wave both arms slowly up and down continuously. It's an internationally recognised distress signal. Betcha didn't know that! ⛵
 

ubuysa

The BSOD Doctor
I visited Yellowstone National Park a while ago. At the visitor centre they give you a warning talk about bear encounters. At the end you're issued with a belt to wear that has several bells on it, these apparently allow bears to hear you coming and avoid you. They also give you a pepper spray, to be used if a bear gets too close.

Finally they show you how to tell if you're close to bears by checking out their droppings. Black bears leave a conical dropping that contains twigs and smells of pine. Grizzly bears leave a flatter dropping that contains bells and smells of pepper....
 
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