One-liners

Martinr36

MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
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HomerJ

Prolific Poster
went to the Doctors yesterday for my 6 monthly check up The doctor asked me about my physical activity level so I described a typical day.

“Well, yesterday afternoon I took a five-hour walk about 10 kilometres through some pretty rough terrain. “I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. “I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I narrowly avoided standing on a fox.

“I climbed several rocky hills. I had to stop several times to relieve myself behind some big trees.
“The mental stress of it all left me shattered. In the end, I drank eight beers.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one heck of an outdoorsman!”

“No,” I replied.

“I’m just a really bad golfer
 

HomerJ

Prolific Poster
While many complain about life in general and the cost of living etc, I am sitting on a sofa that costs £3,500, lovely and cool in front of an air-

con unit costing £2,300, watching the latest film on a 70" smart TV that costs £4,000

Right now, I'm happy, with no worries and not a care in the world, not even the employees at John Lewis, who keep asking me to leave can spoil my day
 
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