One-liners
- Thread starter AgentCooper
- Start date
SpyderTracks
We love you Ukraine
Salmon Fisher
Enthusiast
The chairs will last longer.Thank goodness you didn't go for the range rover
HomerJ
Prolific Poster
yes but the chairs will give you superiority driving a range rover around Chelsea
on the back of a pick up truck.
SpyderTracks
We love you Ukraine
This is so true, I can't stand it
I’ve just seen in the news that the astrologer Mystic Meg has passed away.
I wonder if she saw that one coming.
I wonder if she saw that one coming.
SpyderTracks
We love you Ukraine
I've just been for a haircut and before she started cutting realised it's all gone anyway!
40 something is a really odd time in life
40 something is a really odd time in life
At 80 something, I still have my hair but all the brown colour has been completely washed out. Often "I can't do a thing with it" but for you that phrase must have a totally different meaning.
A bloke just drove past me on a tractor shouting, ‘the end of the world is nigh!’
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
ubuysa
The BSOD Doctor
I think you'll find it was his wife, Arma.
My mate has just decided to go vegan.
I reckon that’s a missed steak.
I reckon that’s a missed steak.
In the ancient land of the potato people, there lived a poor old spud and his three daughters.
When the eldest girl left home he beseeched her to find a good husband, one who could bring some prosperity to their simple lives. She returned some months later and informed him that she was to be wed to a Jersey Royal. He was rightfully elated and gave his blessing to the union.
Despite the influx of wealth to his house, he desired more. So when his second daughter left home to find love, he made the same request. Imagine his delight when she returned and told him that she was engaged to a King Edward. Not just royalty, she had bagged a monarch.
The old tattie was consumed by greed and the need to further his social status, even though he now had more money than he knew what to do with. As his youngest daughter departed he again repeated that same mantra.
Several months later, she comes home and informs him that she has found the love of her life and is engaged to be married. Rubbing his hands together, he asks to whom she is betrothed. She says she has met a wonderful spud who goes by the name of John Motson.
Her father is enraged and refuses to give his blessing. He shouts, ‘you can’t marry him! He’s a common tater!’
When the eldest girl left home he beseeched her to find a good husband, one who could bring some prosperity to their simple lives. She returned some months later and informed him that she was to be wed to a Jersey Royal. He was rightfully elated and gave his blessing to the union.
Despite the influx of wealth to his house, he desired more. So when his second daughter left home to find love, he made the same request. Imagine his delight when she returned and told him that she was engaged to a King Edward. Not just royalty, she had bagged a monarch.
The old tattie was consumed by greed and the need to further his social status, even though he now had more money than he knew what to do with. As his youngest daughter departed he again repeated that same mantra.
Several months later, she comes home and informs him that she has found the love of her life and is engaged to be married. Rubbing his hands together, he asks to whom she is betrothed. She says she has met a wonderful spud who goes by the name of John Motson.
Her father is enraged and refuses to give his blessing. He shouts, ‘you can’t marry him! He’s a common tater!’